PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
