So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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