sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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