Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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