Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
