brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
