I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
