the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hippo gnu deer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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