so that wasnt chicken after all
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize