Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
