My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
