Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
