Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
