my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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