This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize