well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize