We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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