I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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