Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
