I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
