I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found your dick twin last night
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
