i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
