I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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