She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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