It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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