Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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