Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Did I show you my penis last night?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
