i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was confusing and full of hummus
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
