So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
