I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
