Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
