Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
