walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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