Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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