addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
