Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
