you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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