Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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