I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
