Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
