Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sext me about skeletons
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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