4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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