Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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