Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
