dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The best revenge is premature balding
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
