You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
