Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
