so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
