somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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