you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
