I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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