I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
