they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
