my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
