Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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