A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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