she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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