He kissed a someone with a penis
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
