spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
