In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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