well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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