She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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