Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
