Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
