Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
